After taking a rest from their encounter with the nightmare, Grayson and Drake continue their journey to the Red Keep. They get there, but not everything goes as expected...
| [The Admin Chickens intro plays] [The Haunted title card] [Scene opens with optimistic music] | |
| Drake | [Takes a deep breath] I feel like I slept very well. Hey Grayson- OH MY GOD YOU'RE A HORSE. |
| Grayson | PLEASE NOOO [Sprints at Drake] |
| Drake | [Wakes up from nightmare] [Doesn't notice Armenbrine] Ah! What the... Grayson? ...Are you actually a horse? Grayson? Oh, must be out there starting a fire. Hey Slimey. That- that little bed of yours doesn't look too comfortable. Just a little tiny bit of scratchy wool. I'mma get you something better. [Leaves the building] [Looks at the sky] Oh crap, it's late in the day. Hey, Grayson! |
| Grayson | Oh hey, good morning. |
| Drake | Yeah, good morning, What are you up to? |
| Grayson | Cookin' breakfast, would you like some? |
| Drake | Yeah, sure. |
| Grayson | We have... mutton! On the menu. |
| Drake | Mmm, can't go wrong with that. |
| [Both eat and drink] | |
| Grayson | I'll save that water bottle. So uh, did you sleep well last night? |
| Drake | Not... particularly, I'm not gonna lie. It was kinda uncomfortable. |
| Grayson | Well, you know how we were chased by the nightmare last night, and uh... we both passed out. I forgot to give you this, I... am very sorry about that. [Passes him a sleeping bag] |
| Drake | Uh, oh! Wow. Oh wow. I'm not even gonna say anything- |
| Grayson | I didn't even use mine. I didn't even use mine so, we're even. |
| Drake | Okay, well, just- whatever. ...Alright, um... here, I'm gonna go put this in my backpack- |
| Grayson | Do you have your bag? |
| Drake | No, it's back in there. |
| Grayson | You should probably get that then. |
| Drake | Yeah, I will. Um... so how long do you think it will take us to get to the Red Keep, from where we are now? |
| Grayson | Oof I'm still tired. Checking by my map, we should be there in like... I don't know, five minutes? Ten minutes? |
| Drake | Oh wow, so we really were close. |
| Grayson | Oh, hey Slimey! Wake up... |
| Drake | We should really get him a uh, a new bed. Like, that's just like, it's really just... seems kind of low quality honestly. |
| Grayson | I agree. |
| [Adventuring music begins] | |
| Grayson | Let's get your bag. |
| Drake | Alright |
| Grayson | [Muttering] Let's get these- pick these back up. |
| Drake | Put these in... [Puts on backpack] Alright. Well I guess we're gonna head off. |
| Grayson | Alright! Come on, Slimey. |
| Drake | So it's a pretty short journey, but... what's it like in the Red Keep? |
|---|---|
| Grayson | Well... it's... not really that great of a place, to be honest. There's no humans there anymore, but... |
| Drake | Oh, what do you mean? |
| Grayson | We have---If I'm correct how you spell it or pronounce it is: "Paragnanum? Paraganum? |
| Drake | Oh Paganum, Paganum. Yeah I know about that. |
| Grayson | Yeah Paganum, paganum. Yeah yeah. They are uh... you know what they are, right? |
| Drake | Yeah I've- I've seen a Paganum around. |
| Grayson | That is an entire village- or, well, keep full of them. [Pauses] Wait, do you see something? |
| Drake | What? |
| Grayson | I don't know, I thought I saw something over there. |
| Drake | I didn't see anything. |
| Grayson | Ok then. [Stops at a crossroads] If I'm correct it is- Yeah, it's this way. |
| Drake | Alright. |
| Grayson | These... bridges are getting repaired a lot. |
| Drake | Uhh that's probably not a good thing, honestly. I mean, if you think about it, that's just one big piece of stone help up by wood. I'm not really comfortable with that. Alright, wait up! |
| Grayson | Slimey still down here? Yeah, there he is. |
| Drake | Yeah. |
| Grayson | There it is, the Red Keep! |
| Drake | Ooh, that is impressive. I haven't seen real civilization in a long time, oh my God. Kind of excited to see what it's like inside. Some very big, impressive walls. |
| Grayson | Oh, the gates are closed. |
| Drake | Uhh will they open them up for us? |
| Grayson | I'm not sure, actually. |
| Drake | Oh no... |
| Grayson | Oh, yup! They did! |
| Drake | Oh! Oh wow, okay! |
| Grayson | That's... that's nice of them. |
| Drake | Oh, there they are. The Paganum. |
| Grayson | Oh wait, wait, just before we go in... I know this town isn't the greatest thing, since thieves, so I'm gonna move some of my money out of the way. |
| Drake | Oh, good idea. What are you doing with your money? Maybe we should just carry it around. |
| Grayson | Yeah, that's what I was doing, I'm putting it in my- my personal belongings. I also have some things to sell, but I don't know if anyone will buy them. |
| Drake | Uh, I think- Wait. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute... If they're all Paganum, how are we gonna communicate with them? Paganum can't speak our language. |
| Grayson | No, they speak... Paganum? |
| Drake | Do you speak Paganum? |
| Grayson | No, I don't. Do you? |
| Drake | No?? How are we gonna do this? |
| Grayson | Uhh... we- Maybe money! I think everyone knows the- |
| Drake | We just show the money and... point at what we want? |
| Grayson | Hope for the best? Hope that they'll understand? |
| Drake | Uh-oh. The sun's setting, we really should have woken up earlier. |
| Grayson | Yeah, let's- let's get inside. |
| Drake | Alright, well that's- |
|---|---|
| Grayson | Wow. The stables are empty. |
| Drake | And it's... |
| Grayson | This place is far more poorer since the last time I've been here. |
| Drake | Yeah, it's certainly worn down. I guess it's what you get if you just... get the Paganum into the city, I mean... |
| Grayson | Woah, what- |
| Drake | What is it? |
| Grayson | What was that? |
| Drake | What? |
| Grayson | I thought I just saw a dog flying. |
| Drake | Flying dog? What? |
| Grayson | Yeah. Let's... let's just go, I think I'm- Oh! Oh, they're closing the gates. Alright. Oh! There's a Paganum. Hello good sir! |
| Drake | Yeah, he can't understand a word you're saying. |
| Grayson | [Poking through a backpack found on the road] Okay that's... not what I expect to see in a backpack. |
| Drake | What? You- Oh, whoops, I opened yours, oops. I- [Finds a heart in the bag] Oh, God, that's disgusting! |
| [Dog runs through] | |
| Grayson | Woah, woah woah woah. |
| Drake | Oh there's a bunch of- |
| Grayson | Stray dog, |
| Drake | -stray dogs, yeah. |
| Grayson | Yep! Here's the marketplace. |
| Drake | Hey! Some carpets, we might be able to get some stuff from them tomorrow. |
| Grayson | Hm. Hey, you wanna head to the inn? It's over here. Over there. |
| Drake | Uh as long as [Unintelligible due to overlap] |
| Grayson | And I'll go buy some things. Huh? Why are they on the roofs? Hello, good sir. |
| Drake | I don't know, Paganum always kind of weirded me out. |
| Grayson | Yeah. [Enters inn] Hello! Um, we would like to rent out a bed? Or two? |
| Drake | Okay, you know Paganum have a really hard time speaking our language, do you really think they're gonna... just- |
| Grayson | I'll give you a sovereign. [Throws one at the Paganum inkeeper] |
| Innkeeper | [Stares with no response] |
| Grayson | Guess... it's a yeah? [Goes upstairs] Oh, Hello. |
| Drake | Alright, they're weird. |
| Grayson | Yeah, let's... here, you pick a bed, I'll get uh... Slimey a bed. [Leaves] |
| Drake | Alright, um... hey guys. Wonderful weather we're having... God, they're creepy. [Calls downstairs] Hey Grayson, are you almost here? This is really weird. I'm not sure if any of them can hear me, so I- it's kind of hard to say this, so hurry, man... Seriously... Hey Slimey. Over here, Slimey! |
| Grayson | [Returns] Hey! Here, do you think he would like this? [Places down a fancy orange carpet] |
| Drake | Oh woah, did you just buy that? |
| Grayson | M-hm. |
| Drake | Oh wow, that's really- |
| Grayson | Two sovereigns for that. |
| Drake | Dang. |
| Grayson | I guess he does like it. |
| Drake | Yeah. |
| Grayson | You want to explore the town while Slimey sleeps? Or... |
|---|---|
| Drake | Ehh yeah. I- just for a little bit, and then we'll come back in and sleep. |
| Grayson | Alright. I'm not gonna leave my stuff here to be honest, I- I don't think we should leave Slimey, either. Come on, Slimey. |
| Drake | Yeah someone might steal him and sell him or something. I don't know, these guys really freak me out. |
| Grayson | Mm. I'm gonna get the bed, too. |
| Drake | Okay. |
| Grayson | Let's- let's get out of here. |
| Drake | Alright, well I think- |
| Grayson | They always have unibrows. Eugh. Oh hey, there's the guild hall up there. |
| Drake | A guild hall? What's that about? |
| Grayson | Well, let's go check it out. What do you think? |
| Drake | Uhh alright. What is it, just like a guild of people together or...? Are we allowed up here? |
| Grayson | I don't know. |
| Drake | [Reading a sign] A magi guild. That sounds- |
| Grayson | What do you think that means? |
| Drake | -interesting, but I don't think it's gonna be open in the middle of the night. Let's check it out tomorrow. |
| Grayson | Sure. |
| Drake | I'm really interested. |
| Grayson | Alright. |
| Drake | 'Cause "magi" as in magic users- that could be really good for me. |
| Grayson | I don't think the Paragnum- Pagnanum- however you say it- know how to really repair buildings, yeah. |
| Drake | Yeah, they just kind of stick wood on and hope for the best. [Laughs] |
| Grayson | This place is weird. |
| Drake | Eugh. |
| Grayson | Hey, a book shop. |
| Drake | So is this how you remember the Red Keep being, or is this just as weird as- Are you as weirded out by these people as I am? |
| Grayson | I'm weirded out. One sec- [Turns to bookkeeper] Hello! I would like to buy stuff from you. |
| Drake | We would like to buy things. ...I don't think he understands. |
| Grayson | Yeah. Wait, no, he does. I think? Here. There you go, good sir. I bought a book! So I'm happy. |
| Drake | Oh, nice. These are some pretty cool carpets, not gonna lie. |
| Grayson | Oh, I should have got Slimey this one. This one's nice. |
| Drake | God, these people are so noisy! |
| Grayson | Do you just want to head back to the... inn? |
| Drake | Yeah, can we just head back to the inn? I don't like- this Red Keep isn't as great as I thought it was gonna be. Maybe it was great at one time, but with all these Paganum- |
| Grayson | It was. |
| Drake | [Sighs] |
| Grayson | Well, before we go to bed, I think we should discuss what our plan is for... saving Armen. Or at least trying to save him. |
| Drake | Alright. Sounds like a reasonable plan. |
| Grayson | Um... [Skirts around some Paganum] Don't mind me, good sirs... |
| Drake | I still don't think they can hear a word we're saying. |
| Grayson | So... what should we do to save Armen? |
|---|---|
| Drake | [Sighs] Oh my goodness... I- I don't know, I mean that one time I managed to take Herobrine out of him, but... not completely, you know? I mean- I- I was the thing that the rest of it that I pulled out was attached to... And it was just a little bit and I thought it was gonna be the whole thing, and it didn't work out as planned, it was a really big mess in all honesty. I mean, I know I did something. I really don't know what to do, honestly. |
| Grayson | Is that why your... half... |
| Drake | I- I can come up with something. Yeah, that's why my eye is messed up. You can ask about it. But- I'm not- |
| Grayson | What. |
| [Both turn to see an invisible figure wielding a diamond sword] | |
| Drake | ...Grayson? Can Paganum go invisible? |
| Grayson | [Draws his sword] No, they cannot. |
| Drake | Then what is going on? |
| Grayson | Hello? [Switches to his bow] Uh, hello? |
| Drake | Ok, I don't know if we should draw our weapons in here! With the- |
| Grayson | Yeah. |
| Drake | I don't know, I just had a weird memory. Back in the Arctic base... |
| Grayson | Let's- Let's just go to bed. Let's just go to bed. I'll put my stuff down- |
| Drake | Alright, but before we go to bed, do you remember back in the Arctic Base? Before we went to the portal and came to this place? |
| Grayson | Yeah. M-hm. |
| Drake | Do you remember that floating weapon? |
| Grayson | Yeah, actually. I kept firing that musket at it. |
| Drake | Yeah, guns. If only we had them now. But yeah, I don't know... |
| Grayson | Guns aren't... the greatest thing anymore. Destructive... horrible weapons. Let's just- let's just go to bed. [Gets in bed] |
| Drake | Alright, I'll see you in the morning. |
| Grayson | Alright, man. |
| [Screen fades to black] |
| [Screen fades back in as Drake awakens] [Sound of flames crackling] | |
| Drake | [Wakes up] Ugh, what is all that noise? |
|---|---|
| [Both groan and get out of bed] | |
| Grayson | What is- huh- |
| Drake | Do you smell smoke? |
| Grayson | What's that smell, yeah? Let me check. [Goes downstairs] |
| Drake | Oh God- |
| Grayson | We gotta get out of here, now. We gotta get out of here. |
| Drake | It's not a barbeque, is it. |
| Grayson | No. |
| Drake | Oh noo... |
| Grayson | Slimey, let's get out of here. |
| Drake | Come on Slimey, let's go. |
| Grayson | Come on come on come on come on come on- Got his carpet. |
| Drake | [Sighs] Oh God, tell me it's not- oh, it is! Oh my God, the door's on fire! |
| [Both walk outside and look around] | |
| Grayson | Oh my God. |
| Drake | What the hell is happening to this place? |
| Grayson | Let's go. Let's just get out of here. |
| Drake | Oh my God, everything's falling apart! Where did all the people go? |
| Grayson | Come on, Slimey. |
| [Watchtower explodes] [Both exclaim: "Oh God!"] [A cloud of sinister smoke hovers over] [Flaming projectiles descend on the city] | |
| Drake | The tower jus- What is that!? |
| Grayson | Woah, woah, woah! It's Armen! |
| Drake | Look out- It is!? No, why is he attacking the keep!? |
| Grayson | This way! |
| Drake | We gotta get out of here. |
| Grayson | Oh no, our way's blocked! |
| Drake | What do we do!? |
| Grayson | Let's- let's go back the way we came. |
| Drake | Come on, Slimey! Oh my God. That tower just got obliterated. Where is he? |
| Grayson | Oh- Zombies! |
| Drake | Kill them! |
| [Both attack the zombie horde] [Volley of fireballs hits Grayson] | |
| Grayson | Agh, I'm hit! |
| Drake | He's killing the zombies? What happened, what happened? Oh my God, they broke through here for sure. [Referring to a hole in the keep's walls] |
| Grsayson | Let's get out of here! |
| Drake | No, not the keep! Where else are we gonna go? [Fireballed] Agh, I'm hit! I need water! Now! Ah, God! |
| Grayson | Are you ok? |
| Drake | No, I'm not okay! I need water from anywhere- [Flames die] [Sigh of relief] Look out! |
| Grayson | Oh my God! Alright, we can go back out the way we came! You know, the... fork in the road! |
| Drake | Well, anywhere but here! |
| Grayson | We can go around the Red Keep. |
| Drake | [Looks back] Why Armen, no! |
| Grayson | Watch out! Wait, this way. I know of a way up. |
| Drake | Up the mountain? Alright. Come on, Slimey. [Groans] I don't know if I can take another hit like that. I don't have much food. |
|---|---|
| Grayson | Where is it, where is it, where is it? I know it's here- Aagh! |
| Drake | No! |
| Grayson | Where is it? I thought it was here! |
| Drake | What? What? |
| Grayson | There was a cave somewhere. Let's go! |
| Drake | What, it was just last time you were here or something? |
| Grayson | Yes! I stayed there. C'mon, it's fine, let's just get out of here. |
| Drake | We could- I don't know, hide here for the rest of the-? No, no no no. |
| [More fireballs] | |
| Grayson | Oh God, watch out, watch out! |
| Drake | We would spend the whole time- Oh my God, he still knows we're here! We gotta- we gotta lose him! Oh, I really don't like this. |
| Grayson | There it is, there it is, there it is! Come on come on come on come on- is that it? Ah, no! |
| Drake | Uh- [missed by more fireballs] Oh God! |
| Grayson | Waghh! |
| Drake | There's a light over there! Could that be it? |
| Grayson | I guess, let's go! |
| Drake | Just anywhere but here, please. Oh my God! |
| [Both take damage from a drop down to the path from earlier] | |
| Grayson | Ow! Please... |
| Drake | Come on, let's just get out of here! Come on come on come on come on come on come on! Look out! What is this? |
| Grayson | I don't know, but this is good. |
| Drake | I think we're safe in here. |
| Grayson | He's [whispering] Oh, wait. |
| Drake | I think he doesn't see us. Watch out! [takes a torch off the wall] Yeah, I don't think he sees us. |
| Grayson | I'll check. |
| Drake | We can't- we can't stay here the whole night. He'll probably go back to destroying the keep, I imagine. Yeah, well... |
| Grayson | I think we have to go back. into the Badlands. |
| Drake | The Keep is the only way into the Empire! The empire's gotta retaliate- |
| Grayson | That isn't exactly true. There's multiple ways in, actually. Smugglers, thieves... |
| Drake | Well I know, but the Red Keep was always the way to go, wasn't it? |
| Grayson | The normal way, yes, but... |
| Drake | I've heard it so many times: "The Red Keep to the Empire." [Looking around outside] I think we're okay. |
| Grayson | You think he's gone? |
| [Armenbrine flies by] | |
| Grayson | Woah! Let's get out of here. |
| Draek | Alright, I don't think he saw us, we should be fine to escape. Come on! Let's go! |
| [Fireballs land between them] | |
| Grayson | Woah! He knows we're here! |
| Drake | No, he found us again! Why is he chasing us? |
| Grayson | This way. |
| Drake | What is- Oh, nice! good find. Oh, it's the bridge we came in. Oh no, we have to go all the way back, but we made it all this way! |
| Grayson | Where is he? |
| Drake | I don't know, I'm not gonna turn back to find out. [Gets hit by friendly fire] Ow, come on! |
| Grayson | Woah! Sorry- [Stammering] |
| Drake | I don't know, I can't take much more. |
| Grayson | Wait wait wait wait, here here here! Drake! |
| [Both duck into a cave] |
| Drake | Just get far in here. I'm almost 100% sure he cannot find us. Do you have any food on you? |
|---|---|
| Grayson | Oh, no, nononono! |
| Drake | Do you have any food on you? |
| Grayson | Yes, yes I do, Here. |
| Drake | If he hits me, I'm done for. I'm really done for. |
| Grayson | We got cooked mutton. Here, here here here. |
| Drake | I'll take whatever I can get. Oh wow! [muttering] |
| Grayson | Slimey? I think Slimey found a way out. |
| Drake | We can't get in, though! it's too small. Only he can fit. |
| Grayson | Here, let me get a pick. [Searches through his bag] Come on. Let me get torches, come on come on come on- |
| Drake | I have a torch! I have a torch. |
| Grayson | You do? Oh. Put it down, inside there. |
| Drake | Oh, there's a bunch of water in here. |
| Grayson | We have to block that off [Does so] |
| Drake | [Sighs] Somewhere dry. |
| Grayson | Perhaps we can use this for warmth in here. |
| Drake | Oh great, one torch to warm us. |
| Grayson | I do have- I do have some logs and flint and steel. |
| Drake | You know, they say nobody survives his attacks. |
| Grayson | We survived. |
| Drake | So far. |
| Grayson | Here. [Clearing some stone for more space] What was that? |
| Drake | That was just me. I was just- |
| Grayson | Oh, okay. [Breaks through to water, which floods in] Ah! Our torch! |
| Drake | Don't worry, I got the torch, I got the torch, it's fine. I'll just put it down over here. Phew. |
| Grayson | [Finishes cleaning up the area] Okay. |
| Drake | Do you have any logs or flint? |
| Grayson | I do, here. |
| Drake | [Checking his own bag] I don't I just have magic supplies. Oh, but I do have some good food in here! I forgot about that. |
| [Sound of a distant explosion] | |
| Grayson | Ohh what was that!? |
| Drake | I think it's just stuff going on outside. |
| Grayson | Alright. |
| [Another one sounds] | |
| Drake | Oh God. Let's just- I don't think we're gonna get any sleep tonight, but we should at least try. 'Cause tomorrow... oh God. |
| Grayson | [Lights a fire] There. ...Think we're good? |
| Drake | I don't know. You think he knows we're here? |
| Grayson | No, no no no [Blocks off their hiding spot more] You got that sleeping bag still, right? |
| Drake | Um, yeah I do. |
| Grayson | Let's... let's just go to bed. |
| Drake | Alright. Actually, alright. |
| [Grayson's sleeping bag glitches out and he takes damage] | |
| Grayson | What just happened? |
| Drake | What was that? I have no idea. |
| Grayson | Here, you go to bed, I'll keep watch. Oh wait, what about Slimey? Here you go. [Places Slimey's carpet] |
| Drake | Oh God, the sounds of people running around outside, things getting destroyed... let's go to sleep. |
| Grayson | He doesn't know where we are, let's just,,, go to bed. |
| Drake | Alright. See you in the morning, Grayson. |
| Grayson | Yeah, you too, [Gets in sleeping bag] |
| [Screen fades to black] | |
| [Final sweeping shot fades in of Armenbrine watching the Red Keep burn] [Episode ends] |